The Dreaded Digital Christmas
The holidays are quickly approaching! And like all parents, you want your kids to have that great moment of joy at Christmas, where what they unwrap is EXACTLY what they wanted and they can’t wait to play with it all day. They have that magical moment, that burst of joy, and you get huge hugs and are showered with gratitude.
But everything they want has an on-off switch. No more dolls, blocks, books, or train sets. And you know what comes after the glow of Christmas fades – their new coveted device or game will frustrate the heck out of you. Your awesome child, who recently was so grateful, now snaps at you. They don’t want to detach. You want to go on a family hike or play cards. Your child now thinks that is the dumbest thing they ever heard of, and there you are, with all of us, loathing the thing that you brought into the house, and now find your family fighting about the gift you wanted to be so special.
So how do we avoid getting into this trap?
Set Clear Expectations of What To Expect
If you want to avoid technology this year, that is your decision and with the right expectations, you can prepare your kids and avoid disappointment. You can absolutely say, “Hey, this Christmas we aren’t doing any electronics. Instead, we are going to:
Invest in a really great trip for the family
Get a trampoline!
Hit the bike store and everyone gets a NEW BIKE!
Get your old bikes in shape
Insert your amazing idea here that will be a true gift to your child (and your family life)
Set Gift Guidelines Up-Front
If you do want to include electronics, also give them the gift of clarity and boundaries. Perhaps this is making a family contract: “You can use this device if you agree to the following” or “You can use this device freely between the hours of 9am and 11am on weekends but you can not use this device on weekday mornings or at the dinner table.''
While devices are built to be engaging and attractive to kids, you have to remember that they are also designed to be addictive. Kids don’t have the intellectual or emotional capacity to manage that in a way that protects them from overuse. It is up to us, as parents, to set the guidelines.
Media limits are always disappointing to kids. And while this would never be on a Christmas list, what kids really want from us, and from the holidays, is to feel safe and loved and treasured. Hours of media time won’t fulfill that.
Put Down Your Own Device and Engage With Them
Memories are created by connection together, so feel free to insist on that hike. Get a fierce ping-pong competition going. See how can build the tallest house out of playing cards. Offer a cash prize for whoever can beat you at Boggle.
Human beings of all ages crave intimacy and connection, but the continued use of digital devices, technology, and social networking leaves us feeling increasingly alone. In the spirit of the holiday season, I encourage you and your family to make a digital detox part of your resolution and instead make room for creating memories together!